Off in a Distant Planet

by Orlando C. Fernando

July 27, 1999

There was an American television cartoon called "Ren & Stimpy" which in one episode as spacemen, they landed on a faraway planet. There they discovered all the missing left socks in the world. And now we know what happens when we lose socks in our washing machines. Now, having been better educated from that show, I have strong evidence that we'll find many, many other rare objects and beings that we never see on this planet. Here I place my hypotheses:

If we explore far enough into space, we would finally find:

• the winning Powerball lotto ticket.
• our television remote controls.
• all the New York City teen gun licenses.
• the million dollars promised to Oral Roberts.
• a French abridged version of Les Miserables.
• an ugly Spanish girl.
• a quiet Italian.
• Ronald Reagan, who was captured and impersinated during the Iran-Contra scandal.
• "The Honeymooners: Special Edition"
• Working scripts for "Saturday Night Live"
• Tickets to "Saturday Night Live"
• An episode of "Neighbours" in which everybody got along.
• Phil Collin's accent.
• Rock record collections missing from Top 40 radio stations.
• Elvis
• a thin Elvis impersonator
  

Copyright 2001 by Orlando C. Fernando. This page is for personal use only and not for reselling nor distribution to people outside his intended audience.